Yesterday I saw a puppy have its paw run over by a motorcycle.
Nobody cared.
I was just leaving the market with M when we hear this intense wailing, I turn and I see a motorcycle next to a puppy, the puppy clearly in pain with its paw raised up. I saw the motorcyclist drive off and everyone else return to what they were doing. I ran to the puppy, wailing in agony, it got scared and ran on three legs into the nearest store, I followed it inside trying to coax it out to see what the damage was. see if I could make it better. No one cared. The store owner was more worried about having a Malay near her things then having a wailing puppy in her store. I mean, who cares, it just a dog, besides if it dies, we'll have meat for supper!!! Dogs to them are hitting targets, pets that you don't really need to feed and once they die, by natural causes or otherwise, they turn into dinner. They just laughed at me, found it amusing because I am Malay and because I cared.
Yesterday, I had enough!
Yesterday, I was ready to go home.
I know sometimes I care too much, but to be honest, I would rather care too much than not at all. But in the 4 months that I have been in Timor Leste I have had to turn my eyes and close my heart too many times. And it's not just about animals, it's about everything. Naked children running around with bloated bellies from malnutrition. Too many with dirty little faces and runny noses, too many that, given the existing medical services here, might not make it to their teen years.
Too many times I've had to 'not care' about people throwing garbage onto the street or burning trash in their yard. They don't care. Either because they don't know that they should or because it would be too much work if they did.
If it's broken, why fix it? It will only break again. This seems to be a recurring mentality here. Our house for example, is falling to pieces, the mosquito nets are tearing away, the electricity is erratic if non-existent, we've had the refrigerator break twice because of the lack of enough current pulsing through the wires. The water tank is alive only due to the ingeniuty of the security guards that risk getting electrocuted everytime they turn the pump on by touching one cable to another and we are down to only one stove top. But the landlord would rather put us out on the street than bother with these little things, it's just too much trouble, so much so that he actually forbade the electrician from coming to the house the next time we called them. Thankfully for us the electricician has a conscience.
I don't know. I just don't feel like I'm helping in any way. Yes, I'm providing electoral support, and yes, election day is a wonderful occasion in this country but mostly I feel like I'm just providing my services as a glofied chauffer...
If the reason for this country to still be in the state that it's in was lack of money... but it's not!!! Timor is rolling in oil money. But Dili is such an elitist bubble that they just don't see any need to develop the districts. Take Bobonaro for instance, these past 4 months we have seen machinery on the roads to improve the sidewalks. Thing is the sidewalks already existed, they just changed them from cobblestone to concrete and people still don't use them! Was that necessary? More so than getting electricity 24/7 or better yet, getting Bobonaro wired with solar panels so that they wouldn't need to rely on polluting generators and petrol for their measly supply of electricity?? I mean, they have enough sun and they have the money, what are they waiting for? Just the other day I was told by a reliable source that the government had ordered cement blocks from Portugal...from Portugal???? Who was the smart guy behind that idea?! There are far too many people in Dili looking out for their own backs and how to squeeze a little more money from the gullible Timorese. Not enough caring for the people themselves. Too many worried about the status of the portuguese language in the education system rather than the efficiency of the education system. Will these children have a future? Can they afford one?
And what's going to happen to all this when UNMIT leaves? I'm not talking just about the jobs that it provides although just that alone will leave an enormous hole, but also the false economy bubble that is has created. No one will be able to afford Dili unless the prices drop drastically. J, when he came for a visit, said that he woulnd't mind coming to work in Dili, especially since when UNMIT leaves UNDP will probably expand and take over many of the projects. I don't know how I feel about that. I think Timor needs time. Time to grow and develop, time to understand and to help its people get out of the poverty of their everyday lives, time to provide the right education and opportunity for their children. The democracy part is there, now they just need to listen to their people. They need to care.
Nobody cared.
I was just leaving the market with M when we hear this intense wailing, I turn and I see a motorcycle next to a puppy, the puppy clearly in pain with its paw raised up. I saw the motorcyclist drive off and everyone else return to what they were doing. I ran to the puppy, wailing in agony, it got scared and ran on three legs into the nearest store, I followed it inside trying to coax it out to see what the damage was. see if I could make it better. No one cared. The store owner was more worried about having a Malay near her things then having a wailing puppy in her store. I mean, who cares, it just a dog, besides if it dies, we'll have meat for supper!!! Dogs to them are hitting targets, pets that you don't really need to feed and once they die, by natural causes or otherwise, they turn into dinner. They just laughed at me, found it amusing because I am Malay and because I cared.
Yesterday, I had enough!
Yesterday, I was ready to go home.
I know sometimes I care too much, but to be honest, I would rather care too much than not at all. But in the 4 months that I have been in Timor Leste I have had to turn my eyes and close my heart too many times. And it's not just about animals, it's about everything. Naked children running around with bloated bellies from malnutrition. Too many with dirty little faces and runny noses, too many that, given the existing medical services here, might not make it to their teen years.
Too many times I've had to 'not care' about people throwing garbage onto the street or burning trash in their yard. They don't care. Either because they don't know that they should or because it would be too much work if they did.
If it's broken, why fix it? It will only break again. This seems to be a recurring mentality here. Our house for example, is falling to pieces, the mosquito nets are tearing away, the electricity is erratic if non-existent, we've had the refrigerator break twice because of the lack of enough current pulsing through the wires. The water tank is alive only due to the ingeniuty of the security guards that risk getting electrocuted everytime they turn the pump on by touching one cable to another and we are down to only one stove top. But the landlord would rather put us out on the street than bother with these little things, it's just too much trouble, so much so that he actually forbade the electrician from coming to the house the next time we called them. Thankfully for us the electricician has a conscience.
I don't know. I just don't feel like I'm helping in any way. Yes, I'm providing electoral support, and yes, election day is a wonderful occasion in this country but mostly I feel like I'm just providing my services as a glofied chauffer...
If the reason for this country to still be in the state that it's in was lack of money... but it's not!!! Timor is rolling in oil money. But Dili is such an elitist bubble that they just don't see any need to develop the districts. Take Bobonaro for instance, these past 4 months we have seen machinery on the roads to improve the sidewalks. Thing is the sidewalks already existed, they just changed them from cobblestone to concrete and people still don't use them! Was that necessary? More so than getting electricity 24/7 or better yet, getting Bobonaro wired with solar panels so that they wouldn't need to rely on polluting generators and petrol for their measly supply of electricity?? I mean, they have enough sun and they have the money, what are they waiting for? Just the other day I was told by a reliable source that the government had ordered cement blocks from Portugal...from Portugal???? Who was the smart guy behind that idea?! There are far too many people in Dili looking out for their own backs and how to squeeze a little more money from the gullible Timorese. Not enough caring for the people themselves. Too many worried about the status of the portuguese language in the education system rather than the efficiency of the education system. Will these children have a future? Can they afford one?
And what's going to happen to all this when UNMIT leaves? I'm not talking just about the jobs that it provides although just that alone will leave an enormous hole, but also the false economy bubble that is has created. No one will be able to afford Dili unless the prices drop drastically. J, when he came for a visit, said that he woulnd't mind coming to work in Dili, especially since when UNMIT leaves UNDP will probably expand and take over many of the projects. I don't know how I feel about that. I think Timor needs time. Time to grow and develop, time to understand and to help its people get out of the poverty of their everyday lives, time to provide the right education and opportunity for their children. The democracy part is there, now they just need to listen to their people. They need to care.
Just a note of hope (hopefully!):
ReplyDeleteIt's hard for me or you to imagine what 30 years of occupation and civil war makes to the mentality of people, but not caring is an admissible way i guess of couping with it. But most importantly is that people's mentality no matter how much discouraged and abused can change very quickly in the same generation even, so we must not loose hope! just remember when we were children how many stray dogs used to exist in lisbon , how many people used to drive without sit belts, in the countryside burning garbage was very common (i must say in some places it still is) and people would through rubbish on the streets often! At least these small things we have tackled and you must believe that the timorese will be able to tackle their problems too! We all learn by good examples so I am sure who saw you trying to help that dog has registered it and although it might seem that it has no effect at the present moment is one step closer to getting people to think about it and care! Big HuG and hand on xxx sofia
Hugs to you, Fil! -Amy
ReplyDeleteI feel you Felipa..I feel you..Let's have a drink one of these days..all of us..under the tree??
ReplyDeleteRecomendo vivamente a leitura do livro de Hernâni Carvalho "Azul Suai". O primeiro romance de Hernâni Carvalho explica muita coisa - apesar de ser um romance - e percebe-se muita coisa dentro e fora do romance e da realidade. "Em 2000, Timor é ainda um verdadeiro barril de pólvora...". Vi um bocadinho de Timor em Maio passado e fiquei muito sensibilizado com Timor, com o povo timorense e com a causa timorense.
ReplyDeleteCaro leitor,
ReplyDeleteobrigada pelo comentario e por ter lido o meu blog, sabe sempre bem saber que tenho audiencia a seguir estas aventuras. Desconheco o livro mas prometo ser a minha proxima compra. Estiva ha procura de leitura historica de Timor antes de vir e a verdade eh que ainda ha muito pouca materia sobre o assunto.
Obrigada!